Real Namibia: Etosha

“Elephant and black rhino can be very hard
to spot, in spite of their size. The rule of thumb is that if you desperately want to see one, the harder they are to find.”

Sheer dumb luck: a rather scarce black faced impala that almost ran into the car in Etosha, proof that if you aren't expecting to see something, you probably will, and that you should drive slowly.

Etosha Pan, a huge salt pan that occupies much of Etosha National Park, is about as large as the Netherlands. This seems very important to everyone, except the Dutch. Although a large part of Namibia’s original colonialists were of Dutch extraction, none of them settled in the pan, even though like the Netherlands it floods regularly.

The Pan is one of the strangest traveler attractions of which I know. Every year it draws thousands of travelers to its lookout points. They spend as much as an hour looking at it and, when nothing inevitably happens, they depart. Some seem invigorated by their experience. Others leave with puzzled looks on their faces, wondering what exactly they missed.

The Pan is a bit of an anomaly and on its own, would probably not be worth visiting unless it were situated in the United States where, I am told, people queue to see dunes. Its saving grace is the fact that it is surrounded by Etosha National Park, a natural habitat for many of Africa’s better known species, including wildlife camera crews and photographers.

The park is a relatively natural environment for animals in much the same way that Beverly Hills is a natural environment for film stars: there is a photographer behind almost every bush waiting for an animal to do something, anything, that might produce that one magic shot.

The species that are most often mentioned in connection with the park are elephants, lions and black rhinos.

Lions are relatively easy to spot. Unlike the popular idea of the species, they are not generally ferocious hunters unless they are hungry enough to hunt. Most of the time they can be found sleeping under bushes. The best way to find a lion is to travel in the company of someone who is allergic to cats. Lions have a particularly feline scent about them and the greater the intensity of the sneezing, the closer you are to the lions.

Elephant and black rhino can be very hard to spot, in spite of their size. The rule of thumb is that the more desperately you want to them, the harder they will be to find. Your best bet is to ask researchers or camp staff in which vicinity they can be found.

What you are virtually guaranteed is sightings of giraffe, zebra, kudu, oryx, jackal and wildebeest (or gnu if you are English). If you don’t see a springbok, you need to see an optometrist as a matter of some urgency.

If you are a bird watcher, there will also be a couple of hundred species to keep you busy. Just don’t use bird calls as these tend to attract not so much the birds you are seeking, as irritable people telling you to be quiet.

Whatever happens you will see animals.

Some of the more interesting species can be spotted in the camps at night. Jackals, meerkats and honey badgers scavenge around campsites looking for open bins and food left lying around. If you are not conscientious about closing the refuse bin, you may emerge to find yourself confronted with a honey badger’s backside sticking out of your bin. This will only be amusing if it doesn’t tip the bin over.

If staying in the park, although you need to be back in the camp before sunset, the camps have floodlit waterholes at which you can get a good look at nocturnal behaviour. The only provisos are that you should not talk, sneeze, cough, open cold drink cans, crinkle sweet papers, breathe too loudly or use a flash. Any of these actions will earn you embarrassing glares from everyone else. If you have to do any of the above, go somewhere else.

One of the most important things to remember about the park is that although there are more animals than you can shake a poop scoop at, the fact that they don’t attack you does not mean that they won’t attack you if you get too close.

Some years ago, a traveler, probably intoxicated by being so close to nature, decided to sleep on the wall overlooking one of the camps’ waterholes. The upshot was that he ended up making an easy meal for an aged lion. Avoid becoming a story: stay in your car at all times and don't get close to the animals. If an animal approaches your car, roll up your windows and try to back up. If you can’t back up, keep your windows closed and wait until the animal loses interest.

Etosha is one of the last truly wild places on earth. Have fun and enjoy the spectacle but be responsible.